Sunday, July 13, 2014

what if



"Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen."

-Anne Lamott, via Brain Pickings

Saturday, July 12, 2014

If I Knew Then



*This post is in addition to a series about what I would tell  my younger self*

1. Keep reading and writing; make sure you're always stepping outside of the genres you enjoy. When you start becoming inspired by everything in the world, life won't be the same again. 

2. Take out time to reflect on your life and ask important questions. Are things facilitating your growth? Are you fulfilling others while at the same time taking care of yourself? Do you feel stimulated and capable? 

3. Invest in Chanel lipstick. You'll never regret it. 

4. Don't worry about anyone who tries to compete with you. Try to be better than you were one year ago and wish everyone the same for themselves. 

5.  Listen to the stories of your mother and grandmother. The women in your life can teach you a lot when you take the time to absorb their stories.

6. You'll have to work harder than you planned for on any creative pursuit and that's the way it should be. Don't abandon things because they're taking time. 

7. After you leave the man who wasn't kind to you, you'll understand that he had demons you could never tame. 

8. Tell the people you love what makes them wonderful. Everyone needs reminders. 

9. If you're pressed for writing time, think about your characters during your commute. Where would they be going? What would they be thinking? This way, you'll be writing even when you can't. 

10. In a conversation, always ask more about the other person and speak less about yourself. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Link love and quotes

Quotes: 


“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” 
Anais Nin

"If you don’t contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you’re not thinking."
 Malcolm Gladwell

Greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over ½ a library to make 1 book. 
Samuel Johnson

"There are people who write, but I think they’re quite different from people who must write." Harper Lee

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks."
Winston Churchill

“See good in everything and in everyone. But love only a few fiercely and determinately. Make them heroes. Find patterns among them. Stage hypothetical conversations, debates, between them. Have inspiration outside what you do. The way you do anything is the way you do everything. And if you want to be pushed, have heroes in anything, everywhere.”



Links on mental health and women's empowerment: 


*Physicians explain the complex landscape of maternal mental health 

*In India, women making money are at a greater risk for domestic abuse

*Through portraits of Disney princesses, an artist shows how anyone can be a victim of violence

*Actress Zooey Deschanel reminds us that not all women want to give birth 

*A Saudi Arabian princess bravely fights for women's empowerment


*Men are important in promoting equality 

*And one last link, unrelated to the rest: dancing can improve a doctor's skills!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

lessons from Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is immortal because of her words and activism. 

When I was a junior in college, I went with my friend Pavani to watch her speak. That week, Pavani and I had been practicing the Indian national anthem for an upcoming cultural show. Pavani is a phenomenal singer and had been teaching me about various ways to practice, on and off stage. We got to Maya Angelou's talk early and sat in the first row. When she came out, she immediately began singing, and the entire auditorium was hushed. It only took ten seconds for Pavani and me to have tears in our eyes. That, we later agreed, was stage presence. Power. Since then, I haven't seen anyone with that same ability to both stir and silence. 

 These are some of my favorite lessons from her. The world lost someone great yesterday but her presence will always linger.

Maya Angelou and Gloria Steinem 
Photo from CNN.com

1. Know what nurtures you
"Every woman should know where to go, be it her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs nurturing."

2. Be careful who you give second chances to
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

3. Cultivate courage
"I believe the single most important beyond discipline and creativity is daring to dare."

4. Never forget the thread of humanity that binds us all
"If we lose love and self-respect for each other, I believe we finally die." 

5. Don't ever let anything bring you down
"You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies, you may trod me in the dirt, but still like dust, I rise"


She has so many more gems about everything from writing to embracing healthy body image to leaving relationships that no longer serve you. 

May she rest in peace. 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

understanding ourselves: advice for writing and life

"The goal is to understand your true self before launching an action plan. Deep realizations about yourself don’t come all in one sitting. Be your own ethnographer for a month. One of the people that I admire most in the world is Jane Goodall. Imagine Jane sitting in the forest, looking at those chimpanzees with compassion and curiosity. Take on her kind tone and attitude while observing yourself. Be gentle and curious but never judgmental. This is very hard for us to do because we’re always talking shit to ourselves.
Take a notebook and notice every time you get excited about something. It doesn’t have to be a big moment or work related… Just write it down each time—no judgments. What happens over the course of the month is you start seeing some patterns. It gives you a peek into your authenticity and things that energize you. When your whole body lights up with joy, it’s really trying hard to tell you something—it’s saying, “hey, this is important, please pay attention.”
[…]
You need to spend time understanding who you truly are before you forge a path. If you’re making plans based on other people’s perception of you or the perception of yourself that you want to project based on some external force, you’ll always end up in the wrong place.
Advice to those just starting out on a creative path from Sharon Ann Lee,

Via Brain Pickings:
http://explore.noodle.org/post/82992510210/the-goal-is-to-understand-your-true-self-before?utm_content=buffer826a5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Monday, April 14, 2014

Engagement Party

This past weekend, Samir's family threw us an engagement party. There was a Friday night dinner at their house, a traditional Indian ceremony the next morning, and then a reception at a gorgeous museum. It was the first time our worlds came together. The only thing more incredible than falling in love with him was watching how our families and friends fell for one another. 










Tuesday, March 4, 2014

taking the scenic route and befriending uncertainty



Edit: When I wrote this post, I didn't realize it was time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a group created by the incredible Alex!  This group is a wonderful place to offer support and encouragement to other writers while also sharing some struggles and insights of your own. 

In a lot of ways, I've been a late bloomer. For some reason, I have trouble accepting this when it comes to writing. I set deadlines and make plans and become frustrated when things don't go according to schedule.

One thing writing has given me is a better relationship with uncertainty. Years ago, uncertainty was a mysterious stranger, someone I was content with not knowing, someone I actively avoided. Now, uncertainty has become the best type of friend: challenging but constant, exciting but stable. 

In medicine, there's more or less a set route with training. Medical school, residency, fellowship, then practice. But with art, there is no route. As it turns out, there's nothing more liberating than surrendering.

I have to learn to give my goals wiggle room. To remember that time is never wasted if it's spent in practice and everything is practice. 

Now, when people ask me what I think I'll be in several years, I'm happy to say I don't have a plan. There are a lot of virtues I hope to accomplish but there are many routes to get there. Some might come quickly. Some might take triple the time. Some might not happen at all. 

How do you deal with uncertainty in life? 


*Also, this Brain Pickings article describes the importance of uncertainty much better than I ever could: 


“The job — as well as the plight, and the unexpected joy — of the artist is to embrace uncertainty, to be sharpened and honed by it,”   Dani Shapiro



*And of course, a quote by the incredible DVF: 

“I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be.”