Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Soul Soothing With a Best Friend

Quote by Maya Angelou:

"Every woman should know where to go

Be it her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods,

When her soul needs some soothing."

On Sunday, I pulled an all nighter with my best friend of 15 years. Yeah, we're pretty much married by now and have been through it all. We talked on the phone every day through elementary, middle, and high school, lived together for four years of college, and are now moving to NYC at the same time. We are as different as we are similar, sort of like those Venn Diagrams my teachers drew on chalkboards, with a generous overlap between the two circles.

I could spend hours analyzing the gossamer threads of our bond, but I like to believe that it comes down to one simple fact: we enjoy talking to each other. It is a uniquely open friendship where our words do not have to be measured before they are poured out. We tell each other things that other people would probably never say, things like "your haircut kind of sucks", "it's time to get your eyebrows threaded", "what were you thinking when you liked him," etc.

As I slouched on her bed and she hung up her freshly dry cleaned clothes, we got onto the topic of life landmarks: college, job/grad school, marriage, children, etc. Our next landmark is marriage and if it is not done by the socially acceptable age of, say, 27, then people start to think something is wrong.

I asked her why she thought our society defined success as accomplishing these life landmarks.

"Well, it's always been like that," she said in her didatic tone, the same one I first heard when we were in sixth grade and she taught me how to shave my legs.
"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We're always looking to what's next, striving for the next step. Even in school, it was the next exam, next semester, next year. This isn't really that different. Our eyes are always pointed forward. It's a flaw in our race."
As with many of our conversations, I felt like I needed to jot down these little notes on a pink Post It and save them for later, incorporate them into my own life. Perhaps I do need to stop always looking to the future and just be. After all, I have learned the hard way that you can map out a plan of your life all you want, but that doesn't mean it will be followed.

On a lighter note, all my shows are going to the shithole. Or maybe they always were and I chose to just ignore that?
Gossip Girl: What is up with that threesome? And this whole Queen Jenny thing is getting dumber by the episode.

Grey's Anatomy: The acting is becoming as stale as the trite plotlines. I don't like any of the Mercy West people.

The Hills: Audrina is an idiot. And why is anyone attracted to Justin Bobby?!

The only ones I'm content with are Private Practice and The City.

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