Wednesday, November 17, 2010
This week has left me sleep deprived and frazzled. Every time I go to bed, I think of ten more things I have to do. The anxiety has served as a paralysis, freezing me in the unpleasant zone between frantic and psycho bitch.
But during class this morning, I took a magnified look at the past couple of days. On Monday night, I went to an event with my class and stayed until I was exhausted. Last night, I told myself I would write no matter what. But my body and mind just weren't in an ideal place. The words blurred and I retracted into a "damn, my work sucks" kind of mood. I was not in an appropriate place to create but I just wouldn't stop staring at the pleading Word document.
Instead of knowing that I just needed some mindless relaxation, I kept going with what I thought I should have been doing. I resisted my inner voice and ended up wasting more energy and time anyway! So, what's with the need to push a large boulder up a hill??
If I had just listened to what I knew, I could have been more efficient and energetic today. I love that the dynamic of life ensures that we are always learning more about ourselves. But maybe I can take what I have learned and use it to make things easier.
So for now, I'll look forward to a power nap :)
Do you feel that you know yourself? Do you ever ignore what you really know about yourself?