Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Time for a Cleanse


December sounds like the perfect month for a cleanse...maybe November was NaNoWriMo, but December is about editing, refining, reinventing....


Last night I was flipping through my 60,000 words and began to
panic. The ending is going in a completely different direction than I thought and a few of my characters are demanding past relationships that I would not have given them before.


Then, I got to
really thinking about my novel. Cover to cover and all of the pages in between. It may never be at the level I want it at. It may never have the beautiful language and sentence structure I envisioned. It may never speak to another person the way it speaks to me.

And that's okay. Because I tried. I did. And I evolved as a result of the process. The novel changed me as much as I changed it. Now, all I can do is give it my best----try harder---and keep in mind that my best may not amount to anything tangible.
But that's okay, too, I realized.

I pictured my work in the confines of a Word document, never leaving the pixilated space. Those tiny fragments of soul that made their way onto white sheets, never to be given back. And what swam over me?
Peace.


Because maybe that is what defines a real writer. Someone who writes for the pleasure of writing itself and not for a tangible goal. Of course it is wonderful to receive recognition of any sort but I truly believe that
all writers enjoy the challenge that comes with creating.

So, as I sit here, munching chocolates and vowing to start my strict diet/exercise routine tomorrow (still have an hour of November left!), I know that I will give my writing the same effort that I do my body and spirit. Because that's what life is:
an awareness that we can always improve, that it's okay not to get it right the first, second, or even tenth time around, and that we owe it to ourselves to keep on trying....

3 comments:

  1. Awesome attitude, girlfriend! I think it takes a lot of the pressure off when you can be happy writing just for the sake of writing and enjoying it yourself. For me, I'm not worried about accolades, I just want to entertain others for a few hours...

    ReplyDelete
  2. If it is making the decisions for you, you most likely have a strong enough story, a great thing indeed.

    My whole writing life has been about trying, failing, and trying again. I'm a glutton for punishment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful thoughts, Saumya! I'd love the recognition too, but I'll keep on writing whether or not I get that. Writing is a constant part of my life and has been since I was little!

    Good luck with your new health & exercise goals!

    ReplyDelete