Monday, January 9, 2012

stop caring about them


Yes, I said it. Stop caring about the questions from others. Stop caring about what people will think if you haven't reached X and Y goal by 2012. Sometimes I think so many of our problems are caused by reactions from others. I've realized I need to whittle down my focus to where it matters. If I calculate every gesture based on its external output from people, I'll never be liberated. Perhaps too much of my time is wasted on worry, a malfunctioning emotion.

Some examples of what I'm referring to:

"Why does it seem like so and so doesn't like me? I didn't do anything."
-People are allowed to not like you. They are allowed to be mean. You are allowed to step away from ever interacting with them.

"Oh no, if I tell people I love writing I have to explain what I've done and they probably won't get it."
-It isn't theirs to understand anyway.

"What will this agent think about my manuscript?"
-If an agent isn't passionate about the work, it's time for a revision---on the agent search or the manuscript.

"I've been working at this for so long and there's nothing to show for it to anyone."
-The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. It's difficult, risky, and grueling.

12 comments:

  1. Saumya, those are some very wise words!

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  2. I think it's compounded for us writers -- because we are trained to be observers of the world around us and the people in it, we are highly attuned to all nuances in character and response, add in a personal connection, and it starts getting crazy. But I love your ideas to stop worrying about the people around us and get to work.

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  3. It's so very tempting to care about what other people think, isn't it? I need to stop doing that--that'll be one of my goals for this year.

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  4. I REALLY need this advice... so thank you!

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  5. Beautiful, Saumya!

    Living for others and in fear of others is always a burden - some people realize it early (lucky them!) and some people think that it is the right way.

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  6. The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a famous quote! It's so true and its got a nice ring to it, too.

    I needed to hear this: I'm way too sensitive about certain things.

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  7. That first one sounds like me, especially when I was much younger.

    I love the last line: The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. So true. :D

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  8. 'The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it.'

    Love this line, it's so true.

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  9. Beautiful words and thoughts, Saumya. I completely agree with the sentiments you have expressed.

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  10. Brilliant. I love how clearly and simply you've put this. It's all so true!

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  11. Great point! It's better to live life than to be cowering in a corner, trapped by worries.

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