Monday, January 9, 2012

stop caring about them

Yes, I said it. Stop caring about the questions from others. Stop caring about what people will think if you haven't reached X and Y goal by 2012. Sometimes I think so many of our problems are caused by reactions from others. I've realized I need to whittle down my focus to where it matters. If I calculate every gesture based on its external output from people, I'll never be liberated. Perhaps too much of my time is wasted on worry, a malfunctioning emotion.

Some examples of what I'm referring to:

"Why does it seem like so and so doesn't like me? I didn't do anything."
-People are allowed to not like you. They are allowed to be mean. You are allowed to step away from ever interacting with them.

"Oh no, if I tell people I love writing I have to explain what I've done and they probably won't get it."
-It isn't theirs to understand anyway.

"What will this agent think about my manuscript?"
-If an agent isn't passionate about the work, it's time for a revision---on the agent search or the manuscript.

"I've been working at this for so long and there's nothing to show for it to anyone."
-The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. It's difficult, risky, and grueling.


  1. Saumya, those are some very wise words!

  2. I think it's compounded for us writers -- because we are trained to be observers of the world around us and the people in it, we are highly attuned to all nuances in character and response, add in a personal connection, and it starts getting crazy. But I love your ideas to stop worrying about the people around us and get to work.

  3. It's so very tempting to care about what other people think, isn't it? I need to stop doing that--that'll be one of my goals for this year.

  4. I REALLY need this advice... so thank you!

  5. Beautiful, Saumya!

    Living for others and in fear of others is always a burden - some people realize it early (lucky them!) and some people think that it is the right way.

  6. The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. Oh my gosh, that sounds like a famous quote! It's so true and its got a nice ring to it, too.

    I needed to hear this: I'm way too sensitive about certain things.

  7. That first one sounds like me, especially when I was much younger.

    I love the last line: The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it. So true. :D

  8. 'The only thing that art promises is the pleasure of pursuing it.'

    Love this line, it's so true.

  9. Beautiful words and thoughts, Saumya. I completely agree with the sentiments you have expressed.

  10. Brilliant. I love how clearly and simply you've put this. It's all so true!

  11. Great point! It's better to live life than to be cowering in a corner, trapped by worries.