Wednesday, December 10, 2014

If I Knew Then

**This post is in addition to a series about what I would tell my younger self.**

1. After a certain point in life, friendships become more about effort than convenience. Put in the effort. You'll never regret it. 

2. Don't glorify stress or sleep deprivation or making it for hours without food. There is nothing commendable about not treating your body well. There is nothing powerful about being busy. Everyone is busy. Keep fruit in your purse and learn how to take power naps. Cry out of frustration or exhaustion or the intersection between the two, then get up, and move on. 

3.  Everything you want is on the other side of hard work.

4. Beware of trying to fix anyone's issues, whether it's through advice, love, or loyalty. People can only fix themselves and even then, it has to happen when they are ready.

5. Express appreciation to the ones who believed in you even when you struggled to believe in yourself.

6. Allow everything you're working on to take at least triple the amount of time you think it will.

7. In your twenties, you'll start seeing your parents more as people. You'll appreciate their sacrifices on a new level and start relating to them in ways you didn't think were possible. 

8. Respect the periods of your life when you surrendered to apathy.

9. Play around with the "what ifs" in your mind. What if people posted statuses and tweets about when they failed or were confused or lost? What if we introduced our friends by their best qualities instead of their names? What if saying "I don't know" was acceptable? What if loneliness, the most common ailment you see in the hospital, could be addressed as a public health concern? What if prestige was correlated with fulfillment instead of job titles and salaries? 

10. As you get older, making new friends can feel akin to dating. You wait for the effortless connection and intellectual stimulation. You make plans, first in a group, and eventually alone. You see if everything is upheld. And then, you see that years have gone by, and you have someone you couldn't imagine being without. 

11. Keep finding ways to step out of your comfort zone. If you can't travel, read things outside your genre. Relish a new magazine or newspaper or novelist.  

1 comment:

  1. Some very wise words! People can only fix themselves and then only if they want to.